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Taylor Swift (Bart Baker)
Taylor Alison Swift is the main antagonist in several parody music videos by YouTuber and comedian Bart Baker. She makes a cameo appearance in "Kiss You" & "Bound 2". Swift is depicted as "The Devil" in Baker's parodies and has been sent to an insane asylum (I Knew You Were Trouble), ripped Hary Styles' skin off and drowned in a swimming pool (22), hypnotized a crowd of dancing fans (Shake It Off), threatened to slit her boyfriend's wrists (Blank Space), attempted to turn her mannequin boyfriend into a human and was defeated by One Direction's "One-D Power" (Style), waged war against Katy Perry whilst on her period (Bad Blood) and cheated on Calvin Harris and sucked his soul out of his body (This Is What You Came For). Although Swift is female in real life, she was portrayed and voiced by Bart Baker himself, in drag. History One Direction "Kiss You" Parody She is mentioned near the start of the video when Harry Styles told One Direction not to get pissed for him dumping Taylor Swift. Later in the video, she drives in a car and holds a gun, trying to kill Harry Styles. However, she swerves into a cliff and crashes her car after seeing Harry Styles' four nipples. After going back to prison, One Direction finds out Swift somehow survived the car crash because she never dies. She decided to kill them with a knife, which makes One Direction run away from her and scream. "I Knew You Were Trouble" Parody This video is about Taylor Swift's dating history. First, she dates "Disney guy" Joe Jonas, who breaks up with her for being way too creepy. He met someone else named Mickey Mouse. She writes a poison pen song about him. She then meets John Mayer but, when she threatens to pull out his teeth if he doesn't marry her, he hits her with a guitar and says, "We're through"; she writes a song about him. She sends Jake Gyllenhaal 1000 text messages and tells him she's having his baby. She then threatened to punch him 6 feet underground, at which point he decides she is a psycho. She then becomes obsessed with Conor Kennedy, who realizes that she's stalking him when she buys the house next door to watch him constantly and make sure he never dumps her. When Kennedy dumps Taylor, she meets One Direction member Harry Styles, whom she tries to hang on to by taping him to the wall. Taylor uses the stalker app on her phone to track down her ex-friends, who have assembled in a support group. She declares that she is actually Satan, but they had suspected as much and set a trap. She is captured and sent to an insane asylum, ending up with Mickey Mouse. "22" Parody Taylor escapes from the asylum and captures all of her ex-boyfriends for a "never ending hell-date," where she holds them together in group chain and tortures them in ways that include; skinning Harry's face off, shooting Joe in his butt, and forcing them to watch Tyler Perry's "Madea Goes to Jail", her favorite movie. Ultimately, she decides to put them in her death cult; she reveals that the rumors are true; she is Satan and she is going to cut their heads off in order to get them to spend eternity with her in hell. She goes to get a saw but unknowingly to the boy's fortune drops her phone, and Jake uses it to call a friend offscreen. As Taylor returns with the saw, ready to end the lives of all her exes, It is revealed that Jake's friend is Jesus Christ, who subsequently freezes her, and declares her time on earth is through before hitting her with a balloon filled with holy water, and causing taylor to fall into the house swimming pool from the acidic effect and drown. Jesus frees the ex-friends and asks them asks them if they want to go to the strip club, which they all agree to. Following the departure of Jesus and the other men, her hand is shown to emerge from the depths of the pool, showing her to be still alive. Kanye West "Bound 2" Parody At the end of this video, Kanye West was sent by God to hell, after he interrupted Nelson Mandela's speech for winning the Lifetime Achievement Award in the 200,124th Annual Heaven Awards (just like what he did to Taylor Swift at the 2009 VMAs), which made the crowd boo at him and look shocked, including Abraham Lincoln and Marilyn Monroe. As he was sent to hell, he was then greeted by Taylor Swift (who reveals to be the devil), seeking revenge for when he upstaged her at the 2009 Video Music Awards. "Shake It Off" Parody Taylor talks about how she's richer than Bruce Wayne and how she's so famous but she can't keep a date. Then she talks about how she wants to be more than queen of country and decides to make Pop Music, but she then says she's insane and goes crazy. Taylor then calls the song lame lame lame along with the video. All the time she uses her "dumb blonde cuteness" to spread her fan base along with commenting how the video reminds her of a GAP ad along with dressing like an urban man. Taylor then talks about how she's a psychopath and, if you break up with her, she will cut your testicles off. She then yells out that she danced like she was paralyzed and that she has no rhythm and how she wants people to love Tay Tay (her). She then lets us be aware she is going to rap about her master plan and how her zombie fans are going to get revenge on her exfriends until Lord God comes and tells her to "MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!" then he decides, instead of sending her back to her dwelling down there, to send her back to the country. But who knows when she'll escape from country? "Blank Space" Parody Taylor talks about her new boyfriend (portrayed by Nash Grier) who she saw on Vine and she doesn't care if he is underage and she wants to ruin his life. She then tells him that she is not on Spotify and to hear her album, he has to pay $13.99, which made her sold a million in a few days and says that she's so rich and some people think that she's a greedy bitch, then the scene cuts to when Taylor paints a picture of her boyfriend, then the guy asks if he is allowed to get up and Taylor replied that if he moved, she'll slit his wrists. Then Taylor runs to her garden with her boyfriend in her grasp and she tells that she is the dark lord of evil and soon she'll rule the earth. She then tells that she's got a cute new boyfriend and she has to "torture his ass" first. Then Taylor hangs the painting of her boyfriend and then stabs a white cake. Then she laid down on her boyfriend's legs and tells him that there's someone on YouTube that does songs parodies about her and she liked to see him die, then the boyfriend asks if she is talking about Bart Baker, which Taylor agreed and she wanted to crush him as she thought that he's a hater, then her boyfriend asks why did Taylor copied Bart Baker in the video as some of the comments in the video said that she stole his plot by acting nuts and psycho in which Taylor replied that she's is always in that way. As her boyfriend told her that she's insane and Taylor asked is he's scared, her boyfriend recognized that she is the devil. Then she handcuffs him to her wrist, stabs the painting she made and cut holes in his clothes, which made her move on to her next step, to kill him. As Taylor is about to torture and sacrifice her boyfriend with a rake, Pope Francis then grabs Taylor and starts to perform an exorcism on her. As the Pope commanded the devil to be gone in Taylor's body in the name of the Lord, the singer Lorde bursts through the door and she thought that the Pope called her by her name, as she is next door recording a song for The Hunger Games. The Pope then said to Lorde that they are performing exorcism and Taylor insults her just before the Pope begins to end the exorcism. Then the Pope said that it's finally over and the world can live in peace once again, and gets Taylor's boyfriend to get out of the place. After the two people left, Taylor's evil eyes opened, revealing that the devil is still in Taylor's body, and the exorcism failed. "Style" Parody Taylor Swift, at last, found a man who won't leave her fast. He has a great ass and when she drones on, he doesn't talk back. In the bedroom, he lets Taylor do all the things that she likes to do when they screw. Even though the song's title is Style, it's not at all about Harry Styles because she's over that guy. Then she says this video is a boring piece of s*it, not knowing why anyone would even want to watch it. She says it's a lame rip-off of True Detective's credits mixed with a bad school film thesis, saying it's so fucking pretentious. She then reveals she went way over budget on Blank Space. She then said she destroyed a vintage sports car, and it was such a waste, which is why the video is just c**p projected on her face. She also mentioned pieces of broken glass twice. By now, everyone knew she was psycho. She doesn't act all crazy in this video, so she says she'll play nice girl. Even though she was the devil, she'd fool the world into thinking she wasn't the devil. She describes the song sounding like the soundtrack of Drive with its cheesy eighties synth vibe and an annoying funk guitar line. She told the man she was going to use a Satanic ritual to bring him so that he's not just a big doll. He would be her real boyfriend, always make her smile. In addition, they would skin and kill Harry Styles. However, One Direction interrupted her from bringing the doll to life. Harry Styles said it would be the last time that she wrote about him, calling her a b**ch. She claimed she couldn't be stopped, but One Direction proved her wrong because they unzipped their pants and used their One Erection power (also known as gigantic One D power). This made Taylor Swift freeze into a statue, and Harry Styles said their work was done, calling the other members of the band lads. One of the band members said the mannequin would be a great replacement for Zayn Malik. Harry Styles agreed, saying the mannequin was hot and perfect, then One Direction stole the mannequin from a businessman. The businessman was angry because of this, but he calmed down when he realised the Taylor Swift mannequin could be used instead. So he held the heavy mannequin. Months later at a shit mall, her mannequin was seen at a shop to display some clothes, but the Taylor Swift mannequin turned herself into the real Taylor Swift, clenching a fist. This means One Direction's One Erection power didn't actually work, and she somehow convinced One Direction that the One Erection power worked. "Bad Blood" Parody TBA "Wildest Dreams" Parody TBA "This Is What You Came For" Parody The song is much like the original music video, but with a few changes. It takes place in a glass box in the middle of the desert. Inside the box, Rihanna narrates the doomed love life of Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift. She describes how when Taylor noticed a picture of Calvin and Rihanna, she quickly became suspicious and questioned Calvin about it. To avoid losing her, Calvin confessed that he was making a new song dedicated to Taylor, with Rihanna singing the vocals. Despite this, Taylor is suspicious and so keeps an extremely close eye on Calvin, seemingly not trusting him anymore. When the two are in bed one morning, Calvin noticed Taylor is in deep sleep and so decides to get some “me” time by heading to a massage salon that was famous for its handjobs. However, when leaving, he was ambushed by the paparazzi and Taylor saw the news on her phone. Enraged at Calvin for going to a massage parlor without her permission, she decides that she will make Calvin suffer by cheating on him with “Avengers” actor Tom Hiddleston. Five months later, the song is released and according to Rihanna, Taylor had played along with Calvin for that long until the song came out. When the song is reported to be a hit, Calvin credits Taylor for being his inspiration. Taylor, however, heartlessly makes her confession to Calvin, telling him that she lost his love after the massage incident, bringing out Tom whom she brought on a dog leash. Tapping into her Satanic powers, she then proceeds to suck out Calvin’s soul and vomit it into a jar of the souls of her other exes, laughing maniacally as she does so. She then orders Tom to come with her to the “dwelling”. "I Don’t Wanna Live Forever" Parody ZAYN is headed to his hotel room when he is confronted by Taylor Swift, startling him. She tries coaxing him to join her in getting their exes (Perrie Edwards and Harry Styles respectively) back, telling them they would kill themselves if they didn’t come. ZAYN, upon hearing the plan in the elevator, refuses, having been the one to dump Perrie via text message and believing that Taylor is altogether crazy, a theory that is only confirmed when she threatens him in the Devil’s voice. At the flat, she uses ZAYN’s phone to text Harry and Perrie, urging them to come or else they would kill themselves. Harry is initially startled, having had to change his phone number three times because Taylor wouldn’t stop stalking him. ZAYN is outraged when he sees Taylor using his cell phone without his permission. Perrie and Harry discuss the matter via phone call. Harry tries to warn Perrie of Taylor’s demonic nature but is blinded by the prospect of being with ZAYN again. When the two get to the hotel, Perrie tries talking ZAYN out of suicide, only for her and Harry to find that Taylor is holding ZAYN hostage and holding prop guns to both of their heads. When Harry tells them outraged that he is leaving, calling Taylor “sick and deranged”, she turns demonic, making ZAYN realize that she was the Devil, a fact that Harry was aware of, having been taped to a wall by Taylor, having had her peel off the skin from his face, been blown up in her dream, and having turned her into a mannequin with the rest of the band members except for ZAYN. Before she can murder the rest of them, Harry tries feigning love for her by suggesting that they take poison so that they could live in Hell together. In a “swift” response, Taylor pulls out two vials of poison and gives one to Harry, giving one to Harry. Perrie is initially worried about Harry but ZAYN reassures her that it was all part of a plan. Taylor’s mouth starts to foam and she is startled to find that Harry is well and outraged when she sees that he faked drinking and had not taken one sip of the vial. Both Harry and ZAYN taunt her but are disgusted when she actually dies. ZAYN pushes Perrie away and the three of them talk with each other as they leave the flat with Taylor dead on the floor, unaware that she is still alive. Taylor Swift "Look What You Made Me Do" Parody Just like the original video, the video begins with Taylor as a zombie crawling out of a grave, where the tombstone says "Here Lies A Complete & Utter Psychopath". The next scene shows Taylor in a bathtub with $10 million diamonds. She says to the audience "if you rub me the wrong way, like Katy and Kanye, you will rue the damn day. Satan does not give up a grudge". Then, she says that every single one (especially Kanye West and Katy Perry) must be dead as she sits on her throne. Taylor later kills both Kanye by strangling him to death, and Katy by whacking her violently with a classical guitar. After she is seen swinging inside a cage, she gathers a group of cyborg women at "Swift 666" and nukes an entire city with four men in another room. At the video's climax, Taylor stands in a T-shaped throne with hundreds of skulls under it. Taylor, fully transformed into the Devil, dances with four men until Kanye West, reincarnated as Jesus Christ, appears. Kanye/Jesus says he came to say sorry, and bring her a cat. Then, God appears and uses his magic to transfer the Devil's evil soul into the cat. Kanye/Jesus says to Taylor (the cat), that her chaos is over, but Taylor/the cat gets mad and urinates on his face. Her eyes turn red as she does an evil laugh. Appearance Taylor Swift resembles just like her real-life counterpart, a young Caucasian woman with blonde hair and blue eyes. Upon revealing her true satanic nature, she has glowing red eyes, and usually sprouts red devil horns from her head. Personality This bizarre and surreal depiction is largely a satire of her perceived negative public persona as a celebrity. This version of Swift is portrayed as an extremely evil, sadistic, vindictive, narcissistic, insecure, entitled, calculating, obsessive, controlling, abusive, homicidal and mentally deranged psychopath. Throughout her portrayals, her main goals are always to unrelentlessly and obsessively pursue revenge against her celebrity ex-boyfriends for breaking up with her, always with a preference for torture, mutilation and murder. Taylor finds immense joy and passion in carrying out her diabolical deeds, with no remorse for anyone for but herself and a general desire to inflict harm upon her enemies, showing her to be a deeply disturbed psychopath. She is also shown to be an immensely insecure and vindictive individual, who is constantly deluded in the belief that people are constantly seeking to undermine and humiliate her, and must seek revenge on anyone, no matter how slight the perceived offense. Taylor is shown to be a committed misandrist and seeks to violently take revenge upon men, who she sees as having abused her and appears in general to mortally despise men as an entire species. In addition, Taylor is shown to be intensely narcissistic, egotistical and self-obsessed to the point of delusion, believing herself to be an extremely important and talented individual, with no consideration for the thoughts or opinions of others, and perceives any slight criticism of her behaviour as an assault on her character. Furthermore, with Brock's depiction of Swift officially as Satan, she is shown to be especially diabolical, with a burning and unrelenting desire for world domination. She has a penchant for proclaiming her satanic nature, often screams various demonic phrases, and is shown to be thoroughly evil and wicked individual who will stop at nothing to achieve her awful desires. Quotes Gallery Images taylorswiftreact.jpg|The real Taylor Swift's reaction to a parody video out of her. Videos One Direction - "Kiss You" PARODY Taylor Swift - "I Knew You Were Trouble" PARODY Taylor Swift - "22" PARODY Kanye West - "Bound 2" PARODY Taylor Swift - "Shake It Off" PARODY Taylor Swift - "Blank Space" PARODY Taylor Swift - "Style" PARODY Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar - "Bad Blood" PARODY Taylor Swift - "Wildest Dreams" PARODY Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna - "This Is What You Came For" PARODY ZAYN, Taylor Swift - "I Don’t Wanna Live Forever" PARODY Taylor Swift - "Look What You Made Me Do" PARODY TAYLOR SWIFT REACTS TO "Look What You Made Me Do" PARODY by Bart Baker (SHE FREAKS OUT)|The real Taylor Swift's reaction to a parody video out of her. Trivia *The real Taylor Swift was accused of stealing Baker's idea in her "Blank Space" video, which portrays her throwing things around dangerously. *In the "Blank Space" parody when Swift says "Your mom sucks c*cks in hell", it is a reference to the 1973 horror film The Exorcist. *Due to Taylor Swift's negative critics of Bart Baker's Taylor Swift parodies, Bart decided to stop making parody videos out of Taylor Swift, meaning the Bart Baker's Taylor Swift never appeared again in his videos anymore. *Bart Baker's surreal and evil depiction of Swift is very much a social comment and satire of her perceived entitled, insecure. egotistical and vindictive persona as a celebrity, as well as her frequent high-profile relationships and break-ups with celebrity men, along with her frequent and heavily personalized songs which discuss these topics. 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